My story of pain.....

 Hi amigos 🙋🌝

Happy new month. May we reach greater dimensions of God's presence this new month in Jesus'name. And a big thank you for your support for this blog through reading and sharing. 

Now, let's get down to some business.

I have experienced dysmenorrhea, I have experienced the pain of my skin being fried with hot oil, I have experienced the pain of lashes from canes, I have experienced the pain of failure, but the most painful experience is the pain of the memories of my late dad. No analgesic could ease the pain, no pacifier could subsidize the pain. 

It was an impossible pain. A pain that numbed my emotions, and made me a shadow of myself.

I went around with the facade that I was alright, but I was dying gradually inside. No one was able to reach the wall and gain access to the dying me. I have wonderful friends that checked on me and showed me love, they would empathize with me and say soothing words. I would smile and thank them........but it was all a lie. 

I became cynical of things around me, even the Bible and the congregation of brethren. I became cynical of life. I was hopeless......looked forward to nothing in spectacular that brought joy or thrill. 

At that time, I was exposed to some things in Psychiatry. I realized I was tilting towards anedonia.

It continued like that for sometime.

Until the day the Lord asked me to spend some time with Him, then took me to the Scriptures

"Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your little boy asks for a serving of fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? If your little girl asks for an egg, do you trick her with a spider? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing-you're at least decent to your own children. And don't you think the Father who conceived you in love will give the Holy Spirit when you ask him?" Luke 11: 10-13 ( MSG)

At that point, I broke down in tears. I couldn't hold the pain in any longer. I have played the role of being strong for myself and my family, but at that point, I was crashing. I wept. I don't need to form being strong before God, He knows everything I was going through, so why pretend anyway? 

I was like that for minutes, recalling the memories of my dad: his love, affection, care, sacrifices, humor, fears, sincerity, simplicity, humility...... they came in a rush. He had been my best friend, adviser, mentor, counsellor, encourager, and I felt he left at the time I needed him the most.

Then I dropped my burden of pain and hopelessness with Him as He said in His word

" Cast your cares upon Me, because I care for you."

I asked for His comfort.

The Lord reinstated me into the state of joy and hope again, and is still working on me.

This is my story.

You might be reading this piece and you are going through some turbulent times of your life. You may have the facade of being strong, but believe me, you need to stop the pretense that everything is okay and that you will be able to handle it on your own. Because you may break down faster than you think.

Dearest, you need to cast your care upon Christ as I did mine. He is the only one that can sufficiently handle them. And please do it now, don't procrastinate it.

No coping mechanism can beat that: drugs, food, workaholism, screen addiction through movies, social media, sexual activities, or even suicide.

Till we meet in the next post............

Love from Abba's heart 💖

Lotus 🌷